Islam has defined friendship in a manner that many of us in the West are not accustomed to. Islam bases ties and relations not on benefitting each other in worldly affairs but rather in our struggle for success in the Akhirah by seeking the pleasure of Allah سبحانه وتعالى. Islam recognizes the importance of such relationships and has set guidelines for us to follow on how to maintain them:
Loving Friends for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى - This means that we would undertake actions to help a friend or further our relationship with them for the sake of Allah even though they may go against our personal interests.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Whoever would like to taste the sweetness of Iman (belief) then let him love a person only for Allah's sake." [Ahmad]
Generosity and Kindness - Sharing wealth with others is greatly encouraged in Islam. This builds trust and closeness amongst people. It can be difficult for Muslims to grasp this principle especially when they are affected by Western concepts that promote selfishness and irresponsibility towards others. Giving without expecting anything in return is uncommon in the West even amongst friends.
Imam Bukhari narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, "None amongst you believes (truly) till one likes for his brother, that which he loves for his himself." [Bukhari]
Giving gifts has also been recommended by the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and he explained that it strengthens the relationship between people.
It was narrated by al-Bukhari that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Give gifts and you will love one another." [Bukhari]
Kindness to our friends, helping them in need and consoling them in times of grief should become natural to us for everyone needs help, a shoulder to cry on and someone to share their joy.
Concealing the Faults of Friends - It is important to conceal the faults of a friend. This does not mean that we ignore them; it means that we advise our brothers of their faults in private and help them overcome their shortcomings.
Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "He who conceals (the faults) of a Muslim, Allah would conceal his faults in the world and in the Hereafter. Allah is at the back of a servant so long as the servant is at the back of his brother." [Muslim]
Prohibition of Backbiting, Slander, Envy, Jealousy & Grudges - The relationship of friendship is one of trust as a good Muslim is trustworthy and not deceitful. He does not betray nor backbite. In reality this makes the relationship between friends in Islam stronger than friendship according to Western concepts as there is no constant worry about whether your friend is speaking ill of you to other people or betraying you. Islam has prohibited backbiting and slander - thus removing the cause of suspicion and doubt amongst people:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيراً مِّنَ الظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ رَّحِيمٌ
"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother. You abhor that (so abhor the other)! And keep your duty to Allah. Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful." [Al-Hujraat, 49:12]
Islam also forbids envy and jealousy which are the common causes of problems amongst friends.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Do not have malice against a Muslim; do not be envious of other Muslims; do not go against a Muslim and forsake him. Oh the slaves of Allah! Be like brothers with each other. It is not violable for a Muslim to desert his brother for over three days." [Muslim & Tirmidhi]
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